Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Social Anxiety

Your mind is essentially intertwined wires, with signals shooting down each narrow path to give you your thoughts. Some thoughts are just facts absorbed. Others are taken from tiny pieces of information that trigger your imagination to create a completed story. Some of us have wires that like to twist, twist the information we receive to become negative, so negative that our body thinks it's in danger, like a lion is about to tear the flesh off of our bones.

When this process begins our wires start to spark. Our heart begins to race as though it is trying to run right out of our chest, the adrenaline rips through our body like a tornado destroying a town and then the feeling of impending doom begins. This triggers our stomach to want to erupt like a volcano, the heat in our body makes our cheeks set on fire and become red, our hands become sweaty, our senses become heightened and our breathing becomes difficult, like we are breathing through a straw. Then it happens, we feel it slowly creeping into the back of our eyes, the river of emotions is about to overflow. The tears start to stream down our face and we feel the need to run right out of this situation or fight.

But what is there to fight you ask? In reality nothing, in our head everything.

See we have let the current (information) run down an unintended (and unrealistic) path, causing our brain to short circuit. Once this has happened our battery is drained. We are exhausted.

Imagine feeling that every time you are put into a social situation? That is social anxiety. We can't just calm down, cheer up or snap out of it we just have to ride it out. Our body begins to work overtime to fight a threat that isn't actually there. The best thing you can do when you are with someone who experiences this is show us we are not in danger. Breath alongside us so we re gain a proper rhythm, give us a hug tell us everything will be OK or just stand by our side while we go through the process and be there when we come out the other side.

Sometimes just knowing we are not facing it alone is enough.

We may over react if you say something wrong or we may text you 2/3 times a day. We aren't trying to pee you off, our brains are just programmed differently.

For me personally if I don't hear from a friend I think they have fallen out with me or I have done something wrong, so I generally text them daily to check they are ok. If I am ignored or someone doesn't reply again I feel like I have done something wrong. My anxiety is triggered by the fear of being unliked and hated.

What are your anxiety triggers and how do you deal with them?

BethanyLouise xx

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Working With Anxiety

Hello My Lovelies,

I know it has been a long time since I posted anything.... my life has been pretty hectic and my health came first. I just needed a break from all things social media while I understood my problems and worked with a counsellor to help re train my brain (brain training as I like to call it)

I wanted to write a little something about working with anxiety because coming to work was one of the hardest things I had to do!

When I got diagnosed they instantly referred me for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and I started the stage 2 pretty much straight away. The tips and tricks my therapist came up with really did start to help me with most everyday tasks and going out with friends. What I really struggled to do was put them steps into practice when I came to work. I mean I couldn't draw out a table in front of my boss and waste time weighing up the pros and cons now could I? So i had to start drawing this table out in my brain and try not to fluster myself as best I could. Sometimes I had to say I needed the loo just to have the 5 minutes to talk myself through it.

The things I struggle with the most at work are:

  • Going upstairs into the larger offices and talking to people
  • Questioning problems
  • Asking for help
  • Saying No to people if I don't have the time to do things.
Now these might not sound like the most scary things in the world, but seen as I have social anxiety I am scared of being disliked, so these can send me into a panic attack.

I have learnt to control my anxiety now at work by following my counsellors tips!

I have a video on youtube to explain my anxiety more I have popped it below for you :) 

If you suffer from anxiety feel free to get in touch with me and I will help you as much as I possibly can. I just hope this video explains everything I have been through :) 

BethanyLouise x

Sunday, 18 October 2015

My Slimming World Journey

Hello My Lovelies,

I know I have posted in the past about my weight loss story but I wanted to post a video about it too :)

Slimming world has really changed my life for the better! If you have any questions or want any advice or info then comment or message me on any social media platform.

Please like and subscribe if you enjoy the video :)


BethanyLouise xx

Sunday, 11 October 2015

Anxiety And Why I have been Away

Hi Everyone,

Tonights blog post is a very difficult one for me to write. I never really expected to not blog for weeks and not be able to film for YouTube (all my uploads over the past few week have been pre - recorded).

I want to start from the beginning so you can understand fully what I have been going through. I started a new job 3 weeks ago tomorrow and it was a very hard thing for me to do. I knew I would be nervous but I didn't realise I would panic in a lot of situations to do with meeting people and that I would cry in the car on my way to my first day, multiple times. I thought it was normal to panic in such a way for the first day, so I carried on and didn't tell anyone how I felt.

As I got into my 3rd day these feelings didn't pass. Now I am not saying that this is the first time I have experienced these feelings. I have them a lot. I will list below all the situations that make me feel the way I do:

  • Going out alone.
  • Going to Pubs/Cafes/nightclubs where there are a lot of people.
  • Ringing people I don't know on a telephone.
  • Driving to places I don't know.
  • Getting on public transport.
  • Going shopping or to the supermarket
Basically anywhere that involves people or new things.

The feelings I am talking about start with an itchy/scratchy throat that then turns into I can't breath. When I can't breath I get knots in my stomach making me feel sick and tense and my hands start to feel numb. As this is happening I start to cry. The final stage of this is the room feels like it is closing in and I have to run outside or as far away as I possibly can from the situation. For example if I am asked to ring someone I normally just put that job to the bottom of the pile and say "Oh I didn't get round to doing that today".

This is not normal. I only found this out by speaking to family (they noticed that I was a lot more uptight and stressed) and then going to the doctor. I have never been so scared to speak to someone about these things as I have when I walked into the doctors surgery. It turns out I didn't need to be. The lady was lovely and gave me a number to call to get some counselling. She then went on  to tell my what I am suffering is Anxiety and Anxiety/Panic Attacks, which means I am mentally ill. To be honest I was heartbroken to hear that I wasn't "Normal" and that there was something wrong in my head. But it does make sense.... and I can completely understand what it is that makes me feel scared but at this time I can't say it out loud (sorry).

What I am trying to explain to everyone is I haven't had the confidence or the energy (as these attacks are draining) to write posts or film videos. I have been so anxious about filming/writing that its all become too much and I have ended up in a state. In the end I felt the best thing to do was take a step back and try with little baby steps to get back to what I used to be. I will film this week I am determined to so there should be an upload on my channel for next week. And I will write a blog post (though it will have to be friday evening now I work full time). 

Please please please bare with me through this difficult time. I am really trying but it doesn't happen overnight.

If any of you suffer out there with this problem please comment and let me know your tips/advice on how to control this.

Thank you my lovelies!

BethanyLouise xx

Sunday, 4 October 2015

My September Favourites

Hi Everyone,

Please check out My September Favourites and let me know what you have been loving this month!

I will be posting a blog post in the coming week to explain why I have been away for a while!


BethanyLouise xx

Sunday, 27 September 2015

My Top 10 Highstreet Beauty Products

Hi Everyone,

My latest video  has my top 10 highstreet products in it. Please check it out and let me know what you think.

If you enjoy the video please like, comment and subscribe.


BethanyLouise xx

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

M.A.C Mineralize Eye Shadow X4 - A Glimmer Of Gold Review

Hi Everyone,

So I haven't posted in a while as I have been so ill with my asthma. The doctors can't seem to control it and it is driving me insane! Anyway I aren't going to dwell on the negatives.. at least having time to recover has meant I can play with my eyeshadow palettes more :)

I rediscovered my MAC Mineralize palette in the back of my drawer. I couldn't remember the last time I had played around with it... so I did exactly that. All the colours in this quad are shimmery... infact that is an understatement... these bad boys like to shine! As you can see below there is a nice white/cream colour, a gold, a copper and then a black/grey.

I did my best to swatch the colours for you but for some reason they don't seem to show very well on my hand :( The white one doesn't really show as a colour it is more of a highlighter for the brow bone or even the cheek bone. I find the gold adds a subtle warm glow to my eyes.. perfect as a base or with a black liner flick over the top. The copper one is a little more deep and looks lovely all over the lid blended with the black/grey colour. 

I don't think these eye shadows are very pigmented but they are great for day time looks or to add over more intense shadows to introduce some sparkle and shimmer :)

As for the packaging I love it. I always love MAC because it is just so simple yet really effective. I love the fact that there is a mirror in the lid so you can do your eyes on the go.

I purchased this in the airport and it cost £18 so it is a little on the pricey side. The only reason I could justify the money was because of the sparkle. I would definitely recommend this to add to someones collection if they are looking for shadows that really shimmer and define.

I hope you have found this review helpful and let me know what you think of this product :)

BethanyLouise xx